Your Daughter is Fat: What should You Tell Her?


 Your Daughter is Fat: What should You Tell Her?

We live in a world of paradoxical attitudes toward food, eating and body size.

On one hand, we are told we need to be slim down because being overweight is bad for our heath.

But, a moment later,  when we order a regular latte, its sheer size (without counting on the contents of the drink) could feed and quench the thirst of an entire family of eight.

Advertisements for the most part, depict messages of women in ‘perfect shape’ in accordance to the cultural norm that dictates what is beautiful today.

Furthermore, the bodies depicted in commercials and songs in teen pop culture are usually half-naked at best, in sexually insinuating poses.

Sexuality and sexualization get compounded and confused when teen are at ana ge where sexuality, physicality and body imageneed to be figured out.

Teens may feel awkward if they do not fit in, with the group of friends they want to belong to, if the reason is that they do not look a certain way.

Thank Goodness For Meghan Trainor and India who are breaking the mold, and showing different beauty models! Their songs are wonderfully inspiring, the beginning of inclusion in our society.

But what if…

Your daughter is fat; she tells you she hates her body because it is not the way it ‘should’ be; she tells you that the way she looks is the reason she is not invited to parties or out of school activities;

What do you do?

The following are some tips for you to follow when your daughter is fat and feels bad about it:

  • Acknowledge to your daughter that she does not have the type of body she wishes she had.
  • Let her know that you empathize with her suffering but that you believe she is gorgeous.
  • Explain to her that there are many body types.
  • Assure her that bodies are dynamic and they change as people get older.
  • Let her know she will never feel the same about her body, as she feels as a teen, just as she will not always have pimples.
  • Ask her about those who leave her out and find out about other of friends.
  • Discuss with her how one gets ‘stuck’ in trying to be liked by some, instead of trying to make new friends.
  • Ask her how would she want you to help her. Assure her you are there for her.
  • Tell her that dieting is never a good idea because she will become compulsive if she stops eating to lose weight.
  • Tell her you will go shopping together for yummy food. Food that she wants and that will be healthy for her too.
  • Never deny her from eating what she would like reminding her she said she was fat five minutes ago (she will learn how to regulate on her own).
  • Together, look for role models that have her body type.
  • Discuss how the ‘cool factor’ has nothing to do with weight.
  • Acknowledge that middle school, and high school can be the worse moments in life ever (okay… bear in mind you are talking to a teen so you need to be a bit dramatic too). Besides, if you think back, I am pretty sure you will agree that those school  moments  were pretty awful)
  • Assure her that her feelings and problems will go away.
  • Assure her too, that she is gorgeous to you and that she will be a gorgeous young woman to the World, not just you, in a few years!

What do YOU tell your children to help them when they feel bad about their body?

Share with us!

Latest book by Iréné Celcer


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